/Case 009 Halcyon Pensions 2023 Fintech Editorial

Pensions,
in plain English.

A workplace pension provider rewrote eleven years of customer correspondence and lost the call-centre queue.

Reading age
Yr 11 → Yr 7
Call centre vol.
−34%
Bridge raised
£780K
NPS
+22 pts
We rewrote our annual statement. Calls about it halved.
— Sara Whittingham, Customer Director, Halcyon
/ 01 · Brief

Make the annual statement readable.

Halcyon's annual pension statement ran to seven pages of legal-mandated copy. The plain-English audit gave it a Year 11 reading age. The regulator was patient. The customers weren't.

The brief was: keep every legal clause, drop every redundancy.

/Case 0092023
[ Annual statement — before / after ]
From seven pages to three. Same legal content.
/ 02 · Approach

We rewrote it with a paralegal in the room.

The studio embedded with Halcyon's compliance team for the duration. We rewrote the statement, then the welcome letter, then the consent flow.

We kept a working list of "words to retire" — currently 84 long.

/Case 0092023
[ Customer letter — onboarding ]
First page rewritten in 184 words. Plain English Crystal Mark.
/ 03 · Outcome

Call-centre volume on statement queries down 34%.

The reading age came down to Year 7. The bridge round closed at £780K six weeks later.

Halcyon now publishes its style guide externally. We helped.

/Confidentiality — Figures abbreviated or rounded; engagement detail subject to NDA where applicable.

/Next case · 010

Knitwear, online, finally.

Continue reading the index